Here are 5 Critical Keys to Help Heal Your Relationship:
Be authentic with your feelings
This means speaking from your deeper, most inner truth, and discussing some of the ouches in your relationship in a calm, caring way. Doing your best to get beyond the blame game.” Research has shown that most conflict between couples arises from issues that could have been discussed before they became issues, but they were avoided or ignored.” (Clinton Power)
See conflict as an opportunity for growth in the relationship
We don’t mean the kind of conflict that can be emotionally or physically violent. We are talking about conflict that surfaces to show you that something needs healing. When worked through, these are opportunities to learn more about your partner. All relationships have conflict. It is a matter of how you handle the conflict that makes the difference. And if things get heated, it may be valuable to take a time-out, and return to the issue when things have settled down.
Break the attack-defend cycle that gets so many couples in trouble
This means learning to respond differently to your partner rather than reacting offensively or defensively. It means taking more time, and giving more thought to how you interact with each other. It means developing more patience and compassion for what your partner is going through.
Listen fully and be heard deeply
In ADHD relationships, it is really important for both people to be heard and understood. This can take practice, and learning to be patient with your responses. For the ADHD partner, it may mean slowing down and not reacting impulsively. For the Non-ADHD partner, it may mean determining if your ADHD partner is truly attending to you when you are wanting to communicate something important. This means practicing reflective listening for both partners.
Take quality time to spend with each other, enjoying each other’s company.
This is very important as it is a way of sharing time together without needing to focus on issues, or plan logistics. Rather make this a time to be together for some kind of fun activity that gives you a chance to pause from your day-to-day challenges, and get you back in touch with the person you first fell in love with. Make sure the kids, and the other responsibilities of the day, are taken care of so you can focus just on each other. You both deserve the attention. We support you to do this regularly, and at least once a week.